I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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