Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
