Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
