absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
well I can't set my house on fire every night
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I love having hate sex.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
