On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
