Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
