i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Im part way to drunk.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize