I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
