im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
