I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
