It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize