I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He passed out mid-signature
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She's just so happy...and so naked.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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