I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think I sprained my soul last night
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize