Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
