My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
my being single is dangerous.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
