hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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