is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
