guys are only as good as the porn they watch
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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