i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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