She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
