Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
