we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
