I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
