You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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