There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
