I think my fart just growled at me.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm passing your future prison.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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