they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
