I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
