he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
