I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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