were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
