covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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