hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
