He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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