i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
