No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
