If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
