I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
