Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
