it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
