You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
