so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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