I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
