so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
