We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
