Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
