butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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