If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize