You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
