Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
