Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
FUCK WHALES
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
