2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
