It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
