How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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