There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
