i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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