dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
