I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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