i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm always down for nudity.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
