I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
My ATM looks so different sober.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
