I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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