I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
