also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
i think i just lost a toe
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
