How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
