Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
