Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
