Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
